Another Year, Another USPS Meltdown?
Okay, so the USPS just dropped their 2025 numbers. And what a surprise – more losses. I mean, are we really shocked? Controllable loss up to $2.7 billion? Net loss STILL at $9 billion? Seriously, how many more years of this song and dance are we gonna endure?
They’re patting themselves on the back because the net loss decreased slightly. Give me a break. That's like celebrating surviving a heart attack after chain-smoking for 40 years. The bar is so low, it's practically underground.
And the spin? Oh, the spin is glorious. Revenue is up! First-Class Mail, Marketing Mail, Shipping and Packages all saw increases. But volume is DOWN across the board. So, they're charging us more to deliver less? Sounds about right. It's like my cable company - every year, the bill goes up, and the service gets shittier.
The Blame Game & the Endless Begging
Of course, it's never their fault. It's always someone else's. They're whining about retiree pension benefits, the debt ceiling, and workers’ compensation. Translation: "We need more money, and we need you, the taxpayer, to foot the bill."
Postmaster General Steiner says they need to "explore new revenue opportunities and public policy changes." What does that even MEAN? Sounds like corporate buzzword bingo. Are they gonna start selling lottery tickets at the post office? Mega Millions, anyone? Or maybe offer in-house therapy sessions for people driven mad by late deliveries? I'd pay for that, honestly.
CFO Grossmann is babbling about "financial sustainability" through "operational efficiencies" and "product strategies." Operational efficiencies? Are they finally gonna figure out how to deliver a package without bending it into a pretzel? Color me skeptical.
And this whole "USPS Ground Advantage package business" they're pushing? Let's be real, it's just a rebrand of the same unreliable service, probably with a slightly different shade of brown on the trucks.
Honestly, I'm starting to wonder if the entire USPS business model is just fundamentally broken. They're trying to operate a 20th-century service in a 21st-century world. It’s like trying to run Windows 95 on a quantum computer.
Then again, maybe I'm the crazy one here. Maybe I'm expecting too much from an organization that still uses carrier pigeons... okay, I'm exaggerating. But not by much.
The Inevitable Bailout
The worst part? We all know how this ends. Eventually, Congress will cave and throw them another massive pile of taxpayer money. They'll promise to "fix things," and then we'll be right back here in a year, reading about another round of losses.
It's a vicious cycle, a never-ending loop of incompetence and bailouts. And we're all stuck paying for it. Awesome.
